Children, like adults, can learn to confess their wrongs in a way that demonstrates they are taking full responsibility for their part in a conflict.

• Admit what you did wrong. Include both wrong desires and bad choices.
• Apologize for how your choice affected the other person. Express the sorrow you feel.
• Accept the consequences for your wrongdoing without argument or excuses.
• Ask for forgiveness.
• Alter your choice in the future. Think over and plan how you are going to act differently next time.

8. Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. By forgiving someone, we are making four promises.

False Ideas about Forgiveness

• You need to feel like forgiving before you can really forgive. (Wrong. It’s a choice you make, not a feeling.)
• Forgiveness means forgetting about what someone did to hurt you.
• Forgiveness excuses the other person’s sin.
• Forgiveness depends on getting a guarantee that someone won’t do the same wrong thing again.

Four Promises of Forgiveness

• I promise I will not dwell on what you did wrong. I will think good thoughts about you and do good for you.
• I promise I will not bring up this situation and use it against you.
• I promise I will not talk to others about what you did.
• I promise I will be friends with you again.

9. It is never too late to start doing what's right. You can always stop doing wrong, then think about a better way and plan how to pursue it.

10. Think before you speak. Or before you act. Or before you confront someone.

11. Respectful communication is more likely to be heard. This includes the words we speak, our tone of voice and our body language (making eye contact and avoiding bad gestures, facial expressions or posture).

12. A respectful appeal can prevent conflict. Learn how to make one.

• Stop yourself from choosing to say or do something that will cause conflict.
• Think about why you want to appeal and about what words to use.
• Appeal (Ask): Using 'I” messages and questions, communicate your appeal in a respectful way.
• Respond respectfully whether the other person answers yes or no.